Panic
by endfyre
Summary: Panic attacks...what a pain in the ass... Levi has an anixety attack at the worst time. Eruri fluff (I guess) in a oneshot!


**A/N: I'm taking a slight break from my fanfic **_**Immortality**_** and writing this because so much Ereri needs a bit of Eruri to spice things up :)**

Panic

* * *

Levi knocked lightly on the door, like he always did, his knuckles tapping gently against the hard wood. When he heard a response, his fingers brushed over the icy brass knob, like they always did.

It was a normal, everyday chit-chat with Erwin Smith about the simple stuff - killing titans, figuring out the next mission, planning - everything they normally did.

So why did _this _have to happen?

He let himself into Erwin's study, walking in quickly and blending into the wall he leaned against, like a shadow masked in the dark cover of night. The only source of light was a candle on the commander's desk.

Erwin sat on the edge of a windowsill, his arms folded tightly against his chest as if he were hiding something. His azure eyes narrowed and thick eyebrows furrowed as his lips set in a thin line and he glared at his captain from across the room.

"You're late…" Erwin spits, his lip curling slightly. "…three hours late, to be precise." The blonde stands, but his body is tense like a bowstring and fingers clenched, he doesn't lower his guard. "If you want the mission tomorrow to fail, then by all means, come late. But I, personally, don't want to be titan food."

Levi takes the scolding silently. He doesn't fight back or resist when Erwin approaches him, towering overhead like the enemy. He only stares ahead, through Erwin, at nothing.

The commander eventually sighs and his hands drop at his sides. "Where were you?" he asks, but it isn't a question - it's a request. _Tell me where you were, Levi. Tell me why you're so damn late._

Levi flinches involuntarily and he looks away. "Training." he growls. His steel eyes burn with rage. He wants nothing more than to scream at Erwin, tell him to stop criticizing him, beg him to not dig any further for the truth.

"I don't buy it." Erwin snaps at him. "Humanity's Strongest is _never _late. Don't you understand the situation? We're going outside the walls tomorrow, not even ten hours from now, and you use a _pathetic_ excuse like 'training'?"

He can't tell his commanding officer that he fell asleep, that he was exhausted from strain and-

"It won't happen again, Erwin." Levi assures, but Erwin doesn't pay attention to it. He leans forward, head inches from Levi's, and studies the smaller man, with pensiveness that made him uncomfortable.

"You haven't been sleeping?" Erwin observes the dark circles under his eyes, the worn out irises that would shine bright, but now dulled by fatigue, or the way he held himself, barely standing against gravity's dragging pull, threatening to bring him crashing to his knees at any moment.

Levi wants to say something, but he can't say the truth. _Nightmares._ How can he tell Erwin that someone as strong and as bulletproof as him, was having night terrors of the past?

Instead, he blinks and once again, looks in an opposite direction.

Erwin takes a guess. "Was it Isabel and Farlan?" With no direct response, he shifts his question. "Or Petra?"

Strike.

Levi's gaze flickers up at him, beaming up at him with an anger that made his blood boil. A faint smile tugs at the corners of Erwin's lips.

"So it was?" He places a hand on Levi's shoulder. "You should talk about these things more often, Levi." The ravenette snarls under his breath, but fights the pain of seeing her dead body, carved into his memory with nail and hammer, drilled perminatley for him to picture for the rest of time.

Taking a step back, Erwin continues. "It's not your fault, Levi. Soldiers are lost every day, you and I, both, have seen things. And this one, like all the others before, was not your fault."

Levi grits his teeth, but he's not fast enough to suppress his words. "You're right! It was _your fault_!" he barks. At first, the two are equally shocked at what just spilled out of the captain's mouth, no filter on his thoughts what-so-ever. But Levi realizes he can't take it back, so he merely glares Erwin down, riding out whatever punishment and strings of insults followed next.

Instead, he gets "Is that how you really feel?"

The sentence caught Levi off guard, enough to make him inhale sharply. His hands shook weakly at his sides.

He'd already lost all his squad, and his dignity for not being able to fight back, or to tell Petra's father that she was dead - he had another soldier do it for him. He didn't have the guts to say "I'm sorry for your loss" but rather, he fled to the safety of his barracks, away from the assaulting harsh things that spewed past their filthy lips, retreating to a temporary paradise, ignoring the world he lived in.

Levi didn't speak. He choked on his words - literally - and what came out was a strangled, muffled gasp. To an ordinary, it would have been a simple slip of the tongue. But Levi didn't mess up as such, Erwin knew that. To Erwin, this was panic. Hesitation. Fear. Something that didn't exist in Levi's vocabulary.

The room around him spun and everything went fuzzy as Levi dropped to his hands and knees, breath coming in short, painful gasps, ones that burned his lungs and pricked tears at the corners of his eyes. His chest tightened and constricted like a snake, coiling around him and paralyzing him.

He barely noticed Erwin, calling for help, and pulling him upright. Levi instinctively pushed for a barrier. A brace against the sudden terror that coursed through him. He pressed his head against Erwin's strong chest as he attempted to ease out his breathing and suffocate his pathetic whimpers. White knuckled fingers interlaced with the soft fabric of Erwin's shirt and curled, tightly, enough that his fingernails pierced the delicate skin of his palms.

He crumpled in on himself while dragging closer to Erwin, his temporary wall of support. Erwin's arms were around him, shielding him from the demons that cackled and cried from the corners of his mind, biting and clawing and tearing at whatever shred of sanity he had left.

The pounding footsteps outside the hall echoed into the room and stopped around them. Erwin was giving orders, but Levi couldn't hear anything. His senses were heightened but now faded to nothing, like cotton filled in ears and blankets draped over his eyes. And then he snapped, swallowed by nothingness.

-*~_0)exe(0_~*-*~_0)exe(0_~*-*~_0)exe(0_~*-*~_0)exe(0_~*-*~_0)exe(0_~*-

He woke to the soft flutter of a heartbeat, faint yet strong, slamming against a hardened ribcage and bruised skin.

Levi stirred, inhaling a sweet scent of pine and cocoa beans, ones that were used in the chocolate coffee they sold in Varina District. He knew this smell - it was Erwin's.

His eyes slowly opened, dragging against the sleepiness and leaden weights of toilsome work. His whole body moved in a soothing rhythm. It only took him a moment to realize that he, Humanity's Strongest, was lying on top of Erwin's chest, one of the blonde's arms draped across his back, pinning him in place, while the other rested on the back of his neck, tangled with his inky hair.

Erwin's breath was warm, he could feel it caressing the top of his head. It made him feel the tiredness of a near sleepless week. Sunlight slithered in past the faded-green curtains and stretched across the hard wood floor, up the edge of the bed, and danced across their limp forms.

It was barely morning, the sun now just peeking over the tips of the trees outside and welcoming a new day, hopefully one that he'd see to it's end.

The first question that ran through Levi's mind was _how?_ but it quickly changed to _when? _and _what? _and _why?_.

Erwin ebbed away from his fitful sleep and now stared down at Levi, who was glancing out the window and watching the soldiers take the horses from their stables.

The mission was today…

Levi sluggishly sat upright and Erwin followed.

"What happened?" Levi asked, ruffling his bangs and trying to recollect the events of late last night.

Erwin smiled and let out a small, soundless laugh. "You passed out. I carried you to my bed so you could sleep, but you woke up from another nightmare," Levi cringed. He must have looked miserably wretched. "You couldn't fall back asleep, you just kept tossing and turning, so I slept with you."

Levi held back the urge to slap Erwin across the face. Instead, he mumbled a small "thanks," and an even tinier "I guess" followed after. Erwin nodded and the two got up and made way to get dressed. Surprisingly, it wasn't an awkward situation to Levi. Sure, he had to be cradled like an infant by his superior officer and closest friend, but it didn't feel foreign and strange like he expected it to.

Erwin fastened the last belt on his harness and he turned to Levi, who was fumbling with the belts, his fingers twitching and shaking just enough to make him continuously miss the buckle on his chest piece.

"Damnit." he hissed. Erwin gently slapped his hands away, kneeled down in front of him, and pulled the belt through the buckle, tightening it against his small torso. It made Erwin laugh internally at how small he was, tiny compared to his soldiers and superiors.

Erwin looked between Levi and his belt as he made sure the harness was secure. "Can I trust you to keep your cool?" Erwin raised an eyebrow. Levi's head snapped away, avoiding eye contact like it was a death threat.

He nodded. "Last night was an accident. I'm fine."

The commander didn't seem convinced. "Your hands are shaking pretty badly."

Levi sighed. "Because I haven't had my tea yet."

-*~_0)exe(0_~*-*~_0)exe(0_~*-*~_0)exe(0_~*-*~_0)exe(0_~*-*~_0)exe(0_~*-

Once on the outstretched land of lush grass and scattered trees, Erwin glanced to his left, at his trusted captain. He seemed focused on the task at hand, as did everyone else, focused on the mission as they steadied their horses and followed Erwin's every command.

Erwin's eyes flashed to Levi's hands, which tightened around the reins of his horse as he peered into the distance.

He was right.

His hands weren't shaking anymore…

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**A/N: For those of you who are reading Immortality, I apologize for not updating. I'll explain why when I update the next chapter. Damn, I have the worst luck with that fic.**

**And for those of you who aren't reading Immortality and are here for the Eruri bullshit, thanks for reading! Hope you enjoyed this weird-ass and long af one shot!**


End file.
